It is true a new continent has been discovered between Hawaii and Japan that is actually twice the size of the USA.
Now you are probably wondering why has no one noticed it, surely with all our spy satellites some one must know it is there?
Well the truth is big brother wishes to keep it quite as this new continent is rubbish. Yes it is true it has very little oil, virtually no valuable minerals and of limited use, so no country is ready to spill blood for it.
So your probably wondering just how bad this continent really is if know one actually wants it or for that matter even wishes to mention it. The fact is it is rubbish but when I say rubbish I really mean real rubbish, like plastic bags, fast food boxes and all those little crappy plastic things we all throw away that never actually disappear.
It is almost like a Bermuda triangle for crap no one wants. However relax, there may be a day when you can stake your claim as this continent is growing daily as over a million sea birds a year and 100,000 mammals each year die because of the plastic we dump in the sea.
Once we have a sufficiently high pile of birds and animals then we can claim this continent for Scotland and wait a few million years for their rotten corpses to turn to oil.
Saturday 16 February 2008
Man dies of thirst at McDonald's
Well this is almost true.
It irks me that I get a half sized portion at McDonald's for twice the price I used to pay in the USA.
However what really pisses me off when I can't even get a cup of water particularly as water is free in McDonalds in the USA.
So now I have slightly better service as the foreign staff mainly speak English, or at least the managers do. However I only wanted a cup of water as the tea was so hot I could not taste it.
Muttering in the corner listening to their tradesman hammering I wondered if I would have to pay to use the toilet or whether I would be shafted in a different way.
No fee, I was in heaven until I seen the blocked loo. It is always nice to see crap floating in a pan just after you have eaten. However a man has to do what a man has to do. So being educated in the finer points of health I decided to wash my hands. Problem was the sink was no more than 10 inches wide and would have been perfect for a child on a large stool.
So I persevered and washed my hands the best I could with the skin stripping boiling water and missing soap. Thank god we have hand dryer, which actually cause more germs. But I was safe the germs were not in with a shout as the drier was broken.
I must admit I did feel bad wiping my wet germ filled hands on the door handle the tradesman had just fixed.
So I apologise to the McDonalds of Gylemuir Road, Corstorphine, Edinburgh, I will not be back, I shall drive the 50 miles home and drink water from my own tap, for no other reason that you are the filthiest McDonalds if have ever had the misfortune to endure.
It irks me that I get a half sized portion at McDonald's for twice the price I used to pay in the USA.
However what really pisses me off when I can't even get a cup of water particularly as water is free in McDonalds in the USA.
So now I have slightly better service as the foreign staff mainly speak English, or at least the managers do. However I only wanted a cup of water as the tea was so hot I could not taste it.
Muttering in the corner listening to their tradesman hammering I wondered if I would have to pay to use the toilet or whether I would be shafted in a different way.
No fee, I was in heaven until I seen the blocked loo. It is always nice to see crap floating in a pan just after you have eaten. However a man has to do what a man has to do. So being educated in the finer points of health I decided to wash my hands. Problem was the sink was no more than 10 inches wide and would have been perfect for a child on a large stool.
So I persevered and washed my hands the best I could with the skin stripping boiling water and missing soap. Thank god we have hand dryer, which actually cause more germs. But I was safe the germs were not in with a shout as the drier was broken.
I must admit I did feel bad wiping my wet germ filled hands on the door handle the tradesman had just fixed.
So I apologise to the McDonalds of Gylemuir Road, Corstorphine, Edinburgh, I will not be back, I shall drive the 50 miles home and drink water from my own tap, for no other reason that you are the filthiest McDonalds if have ever had the misfortune to endure.
Minister for Europe wastes £3 million..
Minister for Europe, External Affairs and Culture - Linda Fabiani MSP has successfully given £3 million of Scotland’s people’s money to Malawi. Interestingly Malawi’s largest city is called Blantyre so I can only assume this was where the mix up happened.
The Republic of Malawi formerly known as Nyasaland is a democratic, densely populated country located in South Eastern Africa, which I guess must now be in Europe!
Some of the more significant problems facing Malawians include:
1. Insufficient nutrition
2. Poor access to medical treatment
3. Extreme lack of foresight by Government
4. Mis-use of international donations
5. Insufficient school education
6. Spread of HIV/AIDS
7. Government economic restrictions
8. Corruption
9. Climate change
I think I understand the plan, if Linda Fabiani MSP can solve the problems of Malawi, them maybe we can role out the solution to Scotland who also share many of the Malawi social issues.
Having successful marketed Glasgow as the murder capital of Europe and the place to be to get in a cool gang, I just wondered if that money that must have been meant for Blantyre could be used to top up our £200K war chest to tackle gangs.
Great job Linda, nice to see you have found a jolly in the sun while Scotland goes to ruin around about you.
Call me close minded, fix Scotland first and if we have any money left feel free to spend it in Blantyre, until then get on with the job you were elected to do.
The Republic of Malawi formerly known as Nyasaland is a democratic, densely populated country located in South Eastern Africa, which I guess must now be in Europe!
Some of the more significant problems facing Malawians include:
1. Insufficient nutrition
2. Poor access to medical treatment
3. Extreme lack of foresight by Government
4. Mis-use of international donations
5. Insufficient school education
6. Spread of HIV/AIDS
7. Government economic restrictions
8. Corruption
9. Climate change
I think I understand the plan, if Linda Fabiani MSP can solve the problems of Malawi, them maybe we can role out the solution to Scotland who also share many of the Malawi social issues.
Having successful marketed Glasgow as the murder capital of Europe and the place to be to get in a cool gang, I just wondered if that money that must have been meant for Blantyre could be used to top up our £200K war chest to tackle gangs.
Great job Linda, nice to see you have found a jolly in the sun while Scotland goes to ruin around about you.
Call me close minded, fix Scotland first and if we have any money left feel free to spend it in Blantyre, until then get on with the job you were elected to do.
Shoot all smokers...
Why not. We have taxed them to death. Banned smoking from pubs, clubs, cars and restaurant, surly shooting is the next step.
The 500 carcinogenic compounds in cigarettes are not working fast enough. The next big brother brain wave is to license smokers at £10 a year!
Why not have their faces on posters on every wall, get them to sign a repeat offenders list and tax them with a pollution tax and a tax for luxury waste disposal.
No harsh measure is enough. Tattoo their foreheads and remove all their assets. May be I am wrong but this direction all sound so familiar.
May be the solution is simpler, why not removing stupid corrupt politicians, surely this would be a more effective solution to protecting peoples civil liberties.
Create smoking bars and restaurants and let the business owners pay the license. Then people have a choice to smoke or not to smoke, where they wish to.
When we sit back as big brother destroys our planet it is nice to see we can be so easily manipulated by a simple diversion.
Legal drugs kill more lives than illegal drugs, but there is no panic, it’s ok because the government knows how to tax them.
The 500 carcinogenic compounds in cigarettes are not working fast enough. The next big brother brain wave is to license smokers at £10 a year!
Why not have their faces on posters on every wall, get them to sign a repeat offenders list and tax them with a pollution tax and a tax for luxury waste disposal.
No harsh measure is enough. Tattoo their foreheads and remove all their assets. May be I am wrong but this direction all sound so familiar.
May be the solution is simpler, why not removing stupid corrupt politicians, surely this would be a more effective solution to protecting peoples civil liberties.
Create smoking bars and restaurants and let the business owners pay the license. Then people have a choice to smoke or not to smoke, where they wish to.
When we sit back as big brother destroys our planet it is nice to see we can be so easily manipulated by a simple diversion.
Legal drugs kill more lives than illegal drugs, but there is no panic, it’s ok because the government knows how to tax them.
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